Questions in the minds of parents
How will I bring about my kid ?
How can I teach him / her good habits?
How can I teach my child to be a good citizen?
Am I doing a right job to impart discipline in my child ?
All these questions and many more are raised in the minds of young parents in these recent times. In the olden days, it would not have been occurred, since all the members of the undivided family lived together. Elders were there to answer, for all ages and generations, sometimes almost 3-4 generations were living together under the same roof. So help was at hand, for every problems once faced.
Advantages of being in the Joint family system
In joint families,elders were there to advise and helpe out, especially grandparents took over looking after the kids. The Kids had their great grandparents to tell them stories having enormous moral lessons through which they could inculcate good habits and thoughts in the minds of children. Nowadays the situation is totally different. Small nuclear families are blooming everywhere with just one or two kids at the most. They are relying upon televisions and computers to keep them engaged. There is no one to tell them beautiful stories and feed them lovingly. They get bored sitting at home most of the time waiting for the their parents to come home. But when parents arrive they will be tired and exhausted from their tedious day's work and then travel back home to get their remaining work done at home itself.
How to bring about my baby to be a good individual?
Parents have to learn more and more creative ways to raise the children to make them more reliant and independent. They need to collect as much data as possible by surfing the internet, talking to other friends of similar age, check their notes with other parents who have gone through the similar situation, and talk to their own parents about what they did etc. But remember, one child is not like the other. Each child is unique and each will have to be dealt in different manner. One would start thinking on how it would be possible. Just imagine as if your baby comes with their own manual on ' How to bring me up? '. Sounds nice, right ?
How to choose the Disciplinary skills needed for your baby?
The most difficult part of parenting is to impart discipline. Not only the most difficult one, it is the most important too. Each parent differ with various disciplines and to decide when to put the foot down. The level of discipline gets different with the age of the child you are trying to handle. The parents will not be able to take full charge in these days when the kids seem to take in charge thereby teaching their parents the same. Parents will have to apply everything they have learnt, experienced through their own life and filter out their own morality, sensibilities and personalities to shape their children so as to mould them to adjust in our own families.
How to enforce Discipline without hurting the child?
Parents while trying not to hurt the child's feelings are letting the child to rule the roost. They should be given boundaries or limits which should be clear and consistent from the parents side. They have to be a role model for their children and not advocate something which they have not done themselves. The children will not respect you if they come to know the truth. Time-outs, Loss of privileges, extra chores which have to be done around home, or spanking are very crucial punishments which should be given according to the mistake they commit. But don't over-do it either. Eventually the children will become responsible and will have good ethics and morals to be a good citizen for our nation in the future.
How to be a good disciplinarian?
To impart discipline in children often seems to be hectic. We receive our babies when they are born into the world being helpless. We, as parents, have to welcome them with both hands, love and nurture them and teach them to love and understand each other. It is essential to use many ways to teach them the right ways to live through. For that we need to be good disciplinarians, even when we try to be good parents in our child's eyes. We have to help the children set standards for themselves and helping them take control. We have several ways in which we can help the children set their own targets or standards, namely ,one is by using force, second by using fear, third is by giving suitable punishments. But these three methods imply that the parents are far more superior than the children and that they should learn to listen to the elders to avoid getting scolded or punished. This can sometimes create a bad effect on them. Thus always make them clear, that all these are for their well being and you love them more than anything else. Eventually, they will understand your mind set and will have a very positive transformation. So its always better to be their best friend as well as a loving disciplinarian when needed. Both must go hand.
As the bottom-line, being a successful parent is not a hard-nut to crack. The right guidance, at the right time, in the right way will bring about the best in your children.