How to handle kids who fight with their siblings
Okay you have just one child, so this may not be your problem; but for those who have more than one kid they might just relate themselves to this article. Having more than one kid is like a best thing in the world, as the kids have company of each other and there's nothing like a happy, big family. Other than this there are so many good things about a kid having siblings. When a kid has siblings he or she gets lot of opportunities and chances to learn things. Kids tend to enjoy and learn better with siblings. Also one can't deny the fact that children grow in a much secured environment when siblings are around. But it may not be that easy the way you think, as things always look good from one end. But closer you go and things may not be that good looking. Siblings tend to fight more often than anyone else. The fights may be for petty issues or for grave reasons. But the fights do remain, as if one matter gets resolves other keeps erupting every now and then. Such fights can get parents in lot of trouble. Parents get really concerned and helpless with such sibling fights. These fights not only irritate parents but also make them lose their cool.
The fact is that most of the parents forget in the process of this irritation is that it is natural for siblings to fight. The fights between siblings or sibling rivalry could relate to healthy competitions or quarrel which may work wonders in their overall development. But most of the time these fights get nasty and result in frustration for parents as the whole atmosphere of the house gets topple down. Things can get more serious if the quarrels turn into physical fights where parents need to intervene immediately and it could call for some serious consequences at times.
Reasons why siblings fight
There can be endless reasons for why siblings keep fighting. But most of all it is a natural phenomenon. When kids are in a group or have company they tend to argue on certain issues, and these arguments lead to fights. So can't one imagine how things could be with siblings who share the same roof, same house and most of the times the same room. Siblings do share the same rooms and same room means same toys, same computers, clothes, bed and most of the other things. So fights can erupt mostly out of any small reasons, few of which include:
- When both the children want to play computer at the same time.
- When both the children wish to play with the same toys.
- When one of the children feels that other has a larger share of any of the food item he or she loves.
- When one of the children feels that parents love the other kid more than him or her.
- When one of the child thinks that parents are partial in their decisions while judging both the kids.
- When one of the kids gets more attention than others
- When none or one of the siblings is not interested in sharing his things with other sibling.
- When one of the sibling mostly the younger one is dearer to parents as compared to the older.
- When one or the other sibling is jealous of the first one.
- When kids may fight or any other or no reason at all.
Allow the children to discuss among themselves about their behavior
Every child should get a fair chance when it comes to sorting out issues. What parents can do is allow their children a fair chance of speaking to each other and sorting out the issue. Here the children can talk to each other about what and how things went wrong either in their room or in front of one of the parents. But the role parent should play here is just of an audience without actually getting involved in the fights allowing the kids to spend time with each other discussing things.
Don't be judgmental or partial while deciding
When handling such fights don't be judgmental in your decision. Most of all try just to involve safe enough to be impartial and not actually taking anyone's side. Remember always try to be a mediator but don't be a judge. Provide each child with his freedom to express his side.
Try and reach to the root of problem
Most of the parents forget to do that, which may make things more difficult. In many cases, when children fight parents forget to look into the issue, and rather just give punishments or warnings without even understanding what the real problem is. This results in more fights and rivalry which in turn create more problems. Parents should look into the matter and try to investigate what exactly went wrong and who actually started the fight. This way a child may think that his or her parents really care about them and take right decisions.
Don't involve yourself in the fights
That might be one of the ideal ways of tackling the issue. It is safer to stay away and watch then to actually get involve and support any one of them. Be patient yet firm while handling such sibling fight but never actually get involved in the fights.
Relax and stop worrying
If you are worrying about how you are going to handle things and what actually goes wrong then its time you relax a bit. Worrying is not going to take you anywhere. One or the other way, these small sibling fights also have its own advantages. When siblings fight they actually prepare themselves to tackle with the world around them. These fights help them to learn how to negotiate and resolve conflicts which may help them in future life.
Show confidence in your children
Parents need to enough confidence in their children about handling such issues. Parents should express their confidence in front of their children about being sure that their children can tackle and handle such petty issues of fighting very well. This confidence may help your children to resolve their fights and the trust shown by parents might just work wonders.
Pay proper attention to your kids
Most of the time children fight only to get their parents attention. When parents are busy in their lives they get so out of touch with their children. The result is that children miss their parents very much and as they know that only such fights can draw their parent's attention, they start a fight. So if parents pay proper attention to kids then chances of fights are less. Even if the fights do happen, they don't stay put for a longer time.
Be a perfect role model
Finally this is one of the things that matter a lot. Parents need to be the p[perfect role model for their kid as kids tend to relate to their parents. Avoid having conflicts in front of your child and if you do sort the issues in smart way, as the kids are about to observe and act in similar guidelines.
Finally if you think that the sibling rivalry in your house is not something you can handle, and you have had enough; or if the rivalry not just involves petty conflicts but reaches physical violence then its better to take an expert's advice or a counselor's advice to solve the matter.
You have given excellent guidance for babies. Thank you very much is useful to bring up my child.