How parent's divorce impact children


Parent’s divorce has a devastating impact on children and they find it very difficult to adjust and accommodate with this turmoil in their life. A child may find the whole situation of divorce confusing and saddening, and parents need to help the child to cope up the situation. This article helps parents to learn more about the impact of divorce on children and how they can help the children in better ways

How parent's divorce impact children


It is not easy for a child to take his parent's divorce lightly and just move on. A child is devastated with this sudden turmoil in the family and the idea of his family breaking apart leaves him hurt and confused. The impact differs on each child however. Different children take this differently. Factors like age, understanding, innocence and behavior play a larger role when it comes to the parent's divorce. Children within the age group of 8 to 10 may understand what divorce is and would be able to talk to their parents about it. But small kids who don't understand what exactly divorce is may find the change quite difficult to adjust with. Such children are not aware of the exact situation and problem that is happening in their life and hence are left confused and lonely. Whatever the age, one thing is sure that CHILDREN SUFFER! And that is an undeniable fact; maybe they may get over it after sometime. But yet it is just not possible for any child to get over his parent's divorce completely.

Divorce and family


Situations like divorce are extreme and family need to take some extreme decisions in very less time. It is all so sudden that even the adults in the family are shocked. One may need to move out from the place and it could be either the father or the mother. In such extreme situations if adult is left confused then just imagine what may happen to a child. And then Divorce is overall a bitter experience for every member of the family. The consequences of divorce are faced by each and every member within the family someway or other. Everyone loses in this battle something, even the child has to lose something and someone

Divorce and children


Same is about children. If a family is affected and how the children within the family save themselves from the aftershocks of divorce! Moreover the child is yet to understand what has happened and how he is going to face the situation. Moreover the child is embarrassed too about talking with his friends and family members about it in certain cases. Even if parents decide to take divorce in peaceful conditions so as to make it less painful for children yet, things are not that easy. The aftereffects of parent's divorce are painful and confusing for children. So let's learn about some ways in which parents can help the child to cope up with divorce:

Do not hide the truth from children


This is one of the most important facts a parent should know about divorce. A child has all rights to understand what is going on in the family. If things are not going well and parents decide to take this step, let the children too know about it. If a child is within a age to understand and give his opinion then the parents should not hesitate in asking their children for opinion. Many times a child himself may agree on this term of divorce for maintaining a peaceful atmosphere in the house as well as for the best interests of each one of the family members.

Help the child to cope up with the situation


If a child is young enough to understand the crisis and is left alone confused than it is not something a parent should allow to happen. In such cases, parents should try to speak to the child and help him cope up with the situations very well.

Never play the blaming game in front of your child


Whatever the reasons for divorce, it is ideal to stop playing blaming games in front of your children. Don't blame your spouse in front of your child. Don't put all the mistakes on his/her head for everything that has happened. This blaming game does not work at all. Try to be truthful as children to know and observe many things happening within the family and hence its ideal to allow them the freedom of deciding who is right and who is wrong.

Make it easy for a child to understand and cope up with divorce


A child may need some time to cope with his parent's divorce and hence it is important to allow him to have that much time for understanding what exactly is going on in his life. The sudden change in house or the absence of father or mother in the house is going to disturb the child a lot and that too for a long time. So he or she may need time to come out of their shell and adjust within the new surroundings. It is also possible that a child may have to accommodate within a new neighborhood or new school or even new friends. This may make the situation even worse and hence allow the child to take sufficient time and adjust with the new changes in his or her life.

Allow your child to express his feelings and fears


A child should be allowed to speak about his feelings freely in front of his parents. Let him express his anger about certain situations, which may even mean speaking or doubting about your incapability or mistakes. Don't shut your child up but allow him the freedom to speak. This way the child is definitely going to open up and share his feelings which may make him feel better. In such cases parents should listen to the child and support his feelings.

Help the child by clearing his misunderstandings


In cases of divorce, many children feel themselves responsible for it. They continuously blame themselves and feel sad about the whole situations. In such cases a parent or both the parents should clear the misunderstandings of a child and remove the child's confusion.

Reassure your child about your love for him


Finally if a child knows that even if his parents are divorced and separated, yet they may love him just like before and be there for him whenever he needs them; then the child would not find it difficult to cope with divorce. Reassure your child about how much you love him and nothing would change at all when it comes to his upbringing. Always be there and take out time for your child whatever may be the situation.


Comments

Author: Muhammed Shafeeque. P26 Jul 2011 Member Level: Silver   Points : 1

We know now a days divorce is common in our life. People are not take it as a serious matter. But this effect the all of the family. But the main problems facing are their children. Most of the case the child got no responsibility from his/her family.
Take an example, a couple take a decision to divorce, but they have one daughter. What they do? Mother will say the daughter should stay with her. Father also think the same thing. Later they will reach Court. Then that child forced to stay one of them. After few month mother will get marrage. Father too. In this example , parents have no problems. But the whole problems facing this child only.



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