How to deal with your child's temper tantrums
Temper tantrums for children are not new for parents. Children are known for throwing temper tantrums all the time. But sometimes things get out of hand and parents find it difficult or unable to tackle anymore. It's not that all children throw tantrums. But most of them do. One can consider it about children as just a way of showing their frustration or anger; at least that's how most of the children deal with their anger. The fact is about temper tantrums it is only a way that children learn about seeking attention and getting things done. Once a child learns this tactic and gets to know that by throwing tantrum he will get things his way, then he or she just goes on with it. This way they learn about manipulating adults especially their parents who easily give away to their child's tantrums. When children throw such temper tantrums, a parent on the other hand may either feel angry or helpless. When such things happen in front of outsiders or guests, parents may also feel embarrassed. Most often it is also about parents and their ways of handling the kids. Parents allow children to throw tantrums and it finally makes it easy for the child to continue in the similar manner, thus causing discomfort for the parents and also for themselves.
What exactly is temper tantrums
Temper tantrum is a way a child displays his anger to seek attention from his parents or close relatives. These close relatives could be his grandparents or siblings.
Why does a child throw temper tantrums
A child throws temper tantrums either to seek attention or to get things done his way. Throwing temper tantrums is a trick which helps the child to get his thing done. But other than a trick temper tantrum may also be a way of expressing anger on the part of a child whose skills for expressing anger are yet to develop. This tells one that temper tantrum usually happens during early years when a child is as small as 2 years and as big as 10 years. Few of the other reasons for a child to throw temper tantrums include:
- When a child wants to decide for himself and is unable to
- When a child finds it difficult to express his feelings in front of his parents
- When a child is unable to understand his parents
- When a child doesn't want to abide by the rules
- When a child is hungry but can't find anything to eat or is not happy with the food he has been given
- When a child wants his parents to pay proper attention
- When a child gets too anxious
- When a child finds it difficult to deal with the stress.
- When a child doesn't get proper sleep.
- When a child wants his parents to do certain things
- When a child gets discouraged from either his parents or friends.
- When a child is jealous of his sibling. This jealousy may also relate to a toy or even attention from parents.
- When a child is not well.
- When a child is too tired.
- When a child finds it difficult to find solutions to his problems.
- When a child feels that his parents don't understand him.
How long a temper tantrum may last
A temper tantrum may last either for a short duration or may go on for hours. The duration of temper tantrum depends of the reason why a child is trying to throw it. It also depends upon the parents with relation to how they handle their child's temper tantrum.
Causes of temper tantrums
Few causes of tantrums include:
- Anger or temperament in children.
- Stress or tiredness in children
- Situations which a child finds difficult or impossible to handle by themselves.
Ways of throwing temper tantrums
Ways of throwing temper tantrums differ with kids. Most of them just cry loudly and don't stop till their demands are met. Few children are also known to yell, hit their legs vigorously on ground, bite, hit or pinch. Mostly when it is just about crying or yelling the tantrum seems normal. But when the tantrums involve kids hitting or biting they may be termed as violent. And in such cases a kid may just harm himself while throwing tantrums.
Facts about Temper tantrums
Before learning about different ways of handling temper tantrums in children lets face few facts about temper tantrums in children. These facts help you understand your child and their tantrums much better.
1. Temper tantrums are normal part of a child's behavior.
2. Temper tantrums are found in many children and not just yours.
3. Many children from age group 2 to 6 have temper tantrums.
4. Parents can definitely control or put an end to a child's temper tantrum by one or the other way.
Ignoring temper tantrums is not going to help
Most of parents try to ignore their child's temper tantrum. This way they believe that the problem would be solved. In most cases where the tantrums are limited to crying and yelling, ignoring may definitely help. But when it comes to violent temper tantrums such ignorance may not help as a child may end up hurting himself in such case.
Try to understand your child
It is very important that you understand your child and try to find out the reasons why a child throws such temper tantrums. If your child is too exhausted or stressed out then do help him with that. Try to reduce his stress of he is overdoing things. Most of the time, parents make their child to involve in lot many activities which exhaust the child too much. In such cases a child should be provided proper breaks. If your child is not able to finish his sleep than see that he or she gets proper rest. Schedule proper sleeping time for your child. If your child is hungry even after he finishes his meals then see that he is taking proper meals. Try and understand the reasons for your child to behave this way.
Provide proper attention to your child
In many cases a child throws tantrums just to seek attention from his parents. In many cases parents are too busy to provide proper time to their children. If that is the reason which makes to child to throw tantrums then see that you take out and spend some quality time with your child every day.
Try to look for the tantrum triggers
This one is very important. Other than ignoring a parent can always watch out for the tantrum triggers. Once a parent finds out the triggers for their child's temper tantrums then they will always have solutions for the same. These triggers may include certain things or even situations such as visiting or having meals.
Don't give up
Whatever may be the situation, don't ever give up. If you think that it is not going to harm if you just give up on your child's tantrums and listen to him then you are doing a big mistake.
Don't lose temper
That would be the wisest thing to do. Whatever may be the situation or how violent it may get, the ideal thing is to stay composed. Never lose your temper to get on their temper. In such situations how angry you get, your child too is in no mood to listen to you and in such cases things may further worsen.
Take doctor's advice
If you can't handle your child's tantrums then just take a specialists help.
Reward your child's good behavior
If your child behaves well then reward him. Praising your kid for his good behavior will boost his confidence and inspire him to behave well.