How to Handle Bullies at School
Bullying is a very common problem at schools, colleges and even offices. It has now become a very serious problem and even leads to suicide. This article shows you why some children bully, what should you do to avoid being bullied and what parents should do in case their child is being bullied.
Bullying is teasing which no longer is a joke to you! Teasing is very much common between you and your friends, siblings and every close one. We too enjoy such teasing. But the moment teasing starts hurting you; physically or mentally, it becomes bullying. A bully is the person who is bullying other children/people.
Bullying is a very serious problem that goes around in schools, colleges and offices. Even govt is taking serious actions against bully. Schools too are taking precautions regarding bullying as it may effect the bully and the victim very deeply. Some can even lead to death. Hence, it's a very big problem for our society. In worst cases, bully may turn the child a killer and ruin many families. Therefore, we need to control it, we need to get aware.
What is considered as bullying?
If you don't know how to judge between a normal teasing and what is bullying then here's a small guide for you.
1. Students call you by different names. Friends do call each other by silly names. But you can easily differ between a silly and a "bullying-name". You'll be enjoying a silly name but a bullying-name would be more insulting, usually based upon any physical problems, like being obese, or wearing glasses. Such kind of names are hurting and can effect anyone with such problems. This would be considered as bullying.
2. Spreading rumors about other people is also bullying. Most common rumors are usually based upon relationships with opposite sex. It too effects the mind a lot. But it can be any kind of rumor.
3. If somebody is abusing you, taking your things or money or misbehaving or beating you up without any purpose then that too will be considered as bullying. A boy is misbehaving a girl or forcefully making them being in relationship with them too is considered as bullying. So you can guess how intense bullying can be.
Why children bully?
There can be several reasons:
1. If the children himself suffered bully
Some children just want to give back what they suffered from. They know how it feels when someone bullies you and they feel relieved when they see someone else suffering the same way they once did; having the anger that it happened to them and nobody helped them in that situation. In other words, they show their anger or frustration by bullying other children.
2. If he grows in an aggressive atmosphere
A lots of parents fight at home. When children grows in an aggressive atmosphere he thinks that bullying and abusing is the right way to behave. They feel that it's the normal thing. They think that insulting someone or ordering others is the right way to get things done. Parents too (a kind of) bully their child in such cases by beating them up and ordering them for unusual things.
3. If he wants to get things done
Some children bully to get their things done like home work, get some gadgets (mobile phones, video games etc) or any such thing. He thinks he can be the master and make things done. This simply makes them happy.
4. To show strength
Some children simply bully to show their strength. But bullies are not strong. They simply want to show their strength because actually they don't have any. They just do it to show off, to show that they're cool. But they never realize that it's not making them cool, but making them a terror; that is responsible for the anger and hatred in other people for them.
How to handle bully?
Each time you are bullied, you get two options:
It depends on you which path you want to choose from the options. But the best thing you can do is, IGNORE. It's not necessary that if somebody did wrong to you then you too should give them a reply by doing something wrong to them in return; this will NOT make you a hero! In fact people may see you as the same terror they once used to feel for the one who bullied you. Since you understand that how it feels when you're being bullied, hence you should never return the same pain to anyone. Because you know that it hurts, a lot. Here are some of the advice on what you can do, how you can ignore them and stay safe.
Control you emotions
First of all, students bully more when you respond in return. Most of the bully feel happy when you reply in pain or cry or smile etc. Always avoid such things. They want to irritate you that's why they bully. Responding in such ways indicates them that you're not happy with whatever is being done to you, and that's what they want. It makes them happy and even more confident and less fear for anyone than before; making the situation worse. Keep you emotions in control and never reply them, and especially never cry in front of them. No need to express what and how you feel. If you stop showing your frustration, your bully will grow bored of you and hence you no longer will be his prey!
Stand against bully
You should never be scared of bullies. You should, in fact, stand against bully. If someone bullies you instead of running away face them, look in their eyes and say "Stop it!" (in a bit harsh voice!) and then turn around and move on your way. No need to say anything else; no lectures! Many students have used this tip and successfully got rid of bully without violence. This shows that you're not afraid of them and hence they'll lose confidence.
Make friends and move in a group
When you go to such places, like toilets, locker room, etc, where you have chances to meet the bully alone, move with a group. If not a group then at least with one friend. Being alone can be proved an advantage to the bully, and especially if he's bigger than you and with his friends. It's safe to move with a friend. Especially during the lunch time when you can meet the bully anywhere. And moreover, moving with a friend is a good time pass (right?)! Friends can even make those bully wounds heal soon. So, make more and more GOOD friends with whom you can spend some good, quality time and have fun.
If your child is always feeling lonely, then read help your child who is always feeling lonely.
Avoid the reasons for bully
If you're being bullied because of money or any kind of gadget then do not take money for lunch. Instead start packing your lunch for school and avoid taking video games or any such thing which can work as the catalyst for bully!
Talk to your parents
Never hide such things from your parents. If not with your parents then your teachers or counselors of your school (if your school have one). Bullies leads to depression, fall in school results and even more bad things. Telling the problems to elders at an early stage can help you control the situation before it becomes your worst nightmare ever. Some bullies can even go violent leading to physical harm, which is never good! Elders can take action in a proper and safe way before anything bad, like a broken leg, happens! Some bullies have even lead to suicides and hence you should not ignore and always tell your parents about it.
If you're a senior in the school and if you see that someone is being bullied in your school then you should always come forward to help the sufferer and inform elders And especially if you yourself have suffered the same thing. Never be scared and tell your classmates and juniors how to handle bullies. This is the best way to stop bullying.
What should parents do?
If you're a parent then it's your prime duty to find out what's going out with your child in his school because children usually do not tell such things to their parents. Here's what you can do:
Be a friend
If you want to get the things out of your child then it's very important to be a friend. You should instill a trust in your child that you're always there for them if they ever feel lonely or are in problem. Build a very special relationship with your child and do not just be a parent; be the friend. Never beat your child. Show love to them.
Check the silence
If you see that your child has grown surprisingly silent from a few days then be sure that something is not well with him. It can be anything, including bully. Always take your child's silence seriously. Such things starts with a silence and can end up horribly, which can leave a deep scar in your child's memory; demoralizing them for lifetime in worst cases.
Loss in interest
If you see that your child is avoiding things which he used to love then something is bothering your child. Children lose interest because they don't know how to cope up with the situation going on with them. And this makes them thinking about the same incidence again and again. Being a joke in front of everybody is never fun!
See the injuries
If you see any kind of injuries then do not ignore. And especially when you find a new injury every other day. This can be a sign of bully. Do not let your child tolerate physical and mental injuries at any cost. Do take some actions. It can effect your child throughout his life. So, always take some actions.
If you find any of the signs of bully, immediately talk to your child and try to find out the problem with them. Go to the school and talk to his friends and classmates because they must be knowing what's going on, better than the teachers. When you figure out the problem inform the teachers and the principal to take proper actions to control the bully-problem in the school to protect other children.
Never try to fight against bully alone. You may end up in hospital! Don't get excited and do such things which can harm you in return. Always take help from your friends and elders. Never hide your problems from your parents or elders. This is the right way to secure yourself.